Bring it on Home to Me

Sam said it perfectly tonight when she said I'm putting walls up. Can you blame someone for doing that though? What is the point of letting someone in if theyre only gonna put their feet up for awhile and then leave. I'd rather be alone by choice then because I was dumped on my ass. I don't want a fuck buddy. I don't want anymore one night stands. I don't even know if i want a relationship at all because they all have to start from where I am right now. And usually that person leaves anyway. What's the point? There's too many people in the world already, I don't need someone to help me add to that number. I know the bible says people weren't meant to be alone and are supposed to find their person, but I think that was more for when women had no rights. I don't need a man to succeed. My 5-year plan is more ambitious then most of the boys' in my life. In an ideal jackie-world my guy will come in and be able to break all my walls down. I know that doesn't happen in real life though. If you keep pushing a guy away he'll just go find someone easier. Maybe this wont be such a beautiful summer afterall.